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I was asked by a 20 year younger friend how my internet was back then. I needed a moment but then I told her the story of an IRC channel and how we made the day for a young girl who happened to be on our IRC channel. Because this is what my internet was like back then and I wish sometimes it still was like this. Let me tell the story:
I was 25, the channel members were like 20 to 30 years old. Somehow this young girl found her way to us. She was 14 when she joined the channel. >>
>> her mother had died, her dad was still in grief. She had a twin sister.
I don’t know what made us take care of her online. We were there. We listened when she talked about here grief, her pain and how alone she felt. We do our best.
Then came the day where she told us that her dad demands that she and her twin sister will have a birthday party for her 16th birthday. „All the people of my school will come. For her. I don’t have friends at school. You are my friends.“ >>
>> In a mood I said „well, we could come.“ Tje rest agreed - we could come.
„But what should I say to my dad?“ - I suggested „I have some people I want to invite. My friends from the internet“. I did not really think that she said this to her father. It was a bad joke I thought. Well, little did I know that she was so desperate that she asked her dad „can my friend from the internet come?“. He said yes. >>
>> We all said „we‘ll come!“ and so it happened that 15 adults went to a 16th birthday party.
We coordinated in another channel that she did not know that we bought presents, mad cake and planned games. And of course a cake fight.
The day came. Several cars arrived at the house and Metall heads, Goths and Punks arrived at „the venue“ :D >>
>> We had so much fun and made her day. We laughed more than her sister with her „cool friends“. We were the perfect guests. We played games, we laughed. SHE laughed. Later she said the first times for months.
We just were us. Of course we did not drink or take drugs. Of course we did not swear the amount we normally did.
It was a perfect 16th birthday for her. For us it was meeting a friend. I still do not know her „real name“ because her real name is her IRC nick. >>
>> and today, ca. 20 years later, we still talk every now and then. We are still part of her life.
6 years ago she was living in Paris, had a boyfriend in Berlin. She was visiting him for her birthday. He called her when Tage arrived in Berlin at the airport and told her that this relationship has ended.
The person she called was me. She spent the weekend on my couch and again I tried to create her a great birthday.
She played with Barbara, I ordered food, we watched silly TV shows. >>
>> at the end she had a a few decent days with some fun and could fly home and was not totally desperate.
She could call at 3 in the morning and I would write into an IRC channel that she needs us and we would everything we could do to be there. And she would do the same for us.
And that is the internet I hold dear. The internet I love and miss. The internet that mad the day for a 16 year old girl that thought she had no one in the world. The internet that proved her wrong.
~ fin
@jascha This rings very true, *my* internet was the same, though it was usenet, not irc. Sure, some things improved society-wise since then, e.g. we are far better are adressing the massive middle-aged white male privilege; But even back then we tried to be non-judgemental, plain decent human beings. Many attribute that to the overwhelming proportion of academics online, but I have an inkling it has more to do with camraderie among nerds. The Fediverse feels like a decent facimile.